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She didn't even remember pulling the trigger, now that she was remembering everything. Now, as she struggled for an adequate breath, she pictured the soldiers on Earth, Palaven, and Thessia embracing each other, dropping their guns, crying with relief. She imagined everyone being safe, and she knew that they would have a future because of her. As her thoughts dragged on, they became less and less clear due to the lack of oxygen. Shepard felt as if an immense weight was pressing down on her, crushing her back into the oblivion she'd succumbed to over Alchera.

But this time, she was ready to go - she had saved the ones she loved, and they would be able to find new loves, get married, have children, and live the lives they'd always talked about. As she felt herself fading, she whispered out loud to herself. When her eyes fluttered open, she thought she was having another dream about Cerberus. The fluorescent lights above her looked exactly the same, as well as the sterile gray of the walls. Except now, the table beneath her wasn't cold steel. In fact, as she opened and closed her fists slowly, she almost thought she felt blankets, beneath and on top of her.

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She could hear to her left the beeping of monitors that she'd heard so often before - the steady beat of her heart, a dispensing of pain medications. Shepard was surprised to find that she could turn her head without much difficulty - perhaps this wasn't a Cerberus dream, after all. In those dreams, she hadn't been able to move at all without searing pain. She looked left to right, taking in the hospital room around her. It wasn't Cerberus, but it definitely wasn't the medbay of the Normandy , either. When she found the red call button, she pressed it gently. Moments later, an older human nurse appeared at the doorway.

The Missing Shade of Blue

The nurse approached her bed quickly and looked over the monitors. Is there anything I can get you? Shepard opened her mouth to say "Water, please" but no sound came out. She frowned and tried again. Still nothing. The nurse nodded knowingly and walked back to the door, leaning out and calling to another nurse for a glass of ice chips.

She then crossed back to the end of Shepard's bed, picking up a clipboard and scribbling some things down. You've been out for almost a week since we brought you here. Honestly, I'm shocked that you came to us in such good condition, from the reports that described the fighting down there. Those cybernetics have done some amazing things.

I don't know what you did that stopped the Reapers, but we all owe you our lives. I'm Denise, by the way. I'll be taking care of you while you're here. As the ice chips soothed her throat, Shepard found that she could at least whisper now. But where exactly am I? Recon teams were sent up to the Citadel to look for survivors, and they found you buried in the wreckage of the Citadel Tower. All of the survivors were brought back to Earth and sent wherever there was a facility to take care of them. You had only been unconscious for a few hours when you got here, but they wanted to keep you here in London for quicker updates.

They lost the Dalatrass on the Citadel, but Councilor Sparatus and the asari councilor made it out. They're all on board a turian frigate right now, trying to estimate the damage done to the relays. Admiral Hackett said to contact him as soon as you were awake, but I won't do it until you're ready to talk. Shepard took a deep breath and nodded. He's probably got a lot of questions, and so do I. Were the Reapers really gone?


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What was the status of Earth? What was the status of the Normandy and her crew? Denise reappeared, carrying a portable comm interface. She slid Shepard's meal table over her lap and set the interface down, powering it on with a push of a button. As Denise typed in a string of codes, Shepard felt all of her muscles tensing up. If the council was about to criticize her for destroying the reapers, and the Geth in the process, she would lose it. She felt like they'd never really thanked her for anything, not even saving their lives in the Battle of the Citadel.

But she'd be damned if she let them criticize her for saving the galaxy. It took a few long moments for the image on the comm to become clear, but when Shepard saw Hackett's face she couldn't help but sigh in relief. His features darkened for a moment. About 17 million lost on Palaven, 5 million on Thessia. But the Reapers are gone, Shepard.

They can't hurt us anymore. You did it. Until Hackett continued speaking. She's missing, Shepard. No sign of the crew.


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Her lungs stopped working, her head spun, and her stomach twisted violently. As she retched over the side of the bed, Denise who must have already known, Shepard thought pulled back Shepard's hair and ran a cool, damp rag over her face. Another nurse came in and started to clean up the mess, and Shepard looked back up at Hackett. His leathered face sagged, and his eyes were filled with sorrow as he stared back. Our scientists have estimated that there was no way they could've made it to a second relay in time, but none of the local clusters have been able to find the ship on any of their planets.

They were an incredible crew. Shepard wanted to scream, to rage at the universe for this screwed-up twist of fate. It was supposed to be her who was sacrificed for the galaxy. The Normandy was supposed to be safe - Garrus was supposed to be safe. No words would form, and not even a sound would come from her suddenly tight throat. Denise reached over and turned the comm device off, for which Shepard was grateful.

Hackett and the Council members shouldn't see the Hero of the Galaxy cry. As she leaned back against the pillow, Denise pressed the cup of ice chips back into her hand. And, ma'am I'm sorry for your loss. Her chest shook uncontrollably as quiet sobs engulfed her. This wasn't how it was supposed to end - she'd had a plan, and she'd followed through with it. But this was not the outcome she had wanted or expected.

A Certain Shade of Blue - Chapter 1 - bondlikejames96 - Mass Effect [Archive of Our Own]

If the Reapers hadn't destroyed her, surely the thought of living without all of her friends would. Main Content While we've done our best to make the core functionality of this site accessible without javascript, it will work better with it enabled. Get an Invitation. A Certain Shade of Blue bondlikejames96 Summary: She had been meant to die that day - her crew was supposed to be safe when they left Earth. Chapter 1 : Prologue.

Chapter Text Posey Shepard was dying How did Earth fare? Post Comment Note: All fields are required.

A Certain Shade Of Blue

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