This book gives parents an easy-to-read understanding of their out of control child. The practical understanding Kapalka offers helps parents better understand what is occurring in their children. Being 'out of control' becomes far more predictable with the insights and strategies this book offers. I can certainly recommend it for my patients and their families. Kozak, Ph. We learn how to control our impulses as children--or at least we're supposed to.
But some children have trouble with impulsivity and self-control, problems that, left unchecked, can lead to very serious problems that can even cross the line into crime and delinquency.
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This book offers a sound and safe step-by-step program for dealing with out-of-control children before their behavior problems result in serious consequences. This step-by-step program concentrates on the most common out-of-control behavior problems that the author has encountered in his extensive work with parents and children.
Then the book details a uniquely effective strategy for managing an out-of-control child: the behavior contract. With this technique, you'll establish clearly what you expect from your child and define the results of either compliant or noncompliant behavior. The book offers strategies for making use of the contract in everyday life. With a little effort and patience and a lot of love, you'll be able to use these techniques to control even the worst impulsivity problems.
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What Were You Thinking? Bryan Smith. Varleisha Gibbs. Review This book provides a practical road map for anyone wishing to implement a successful program for children with behavior management problems. Read more. Don't have a Kindle? Chance to win daily prizes. Get ready for Prime Day with the Amazon App. No purchase necessary. Get started. Share your thoughts with other customers. Write a customer review. Showing of 11 reviews. Top Reviews Most recent Top Reviews.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase. We were lost with finding ways to control our 5yo son. We tried time out, taking away toys, spankings, buying toys when he does good, point jars, calendars for earning special things toys, trips, etc.
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None of it worked. From 4yo to 5yo he got worse. One evening in my frustration of his back talk, refusal to do what we asked him to do I lost it and became exceptionally mean with my words. Basically I snapped and later I felt just awful. I apologized to my boy and asked him to forgive me and thankfully he did. I knew I had to find something to help ME so I could help him grow up to be a great man. I knew my problem was that I was out of ideas, I felt lost and frustrated because I didn't know what to do. When searching google I came across this book and thought about it for 5 days.
Until my son was real difficult one morning. When I got to work after dropping my boy off at school I ordered the book immediately. I started reading the book the night it arrived. I couldn't help but be shocked, amazed, and actually chuckle at the similarities of the examples given by the author and how my wife and I raise our boy. I would not have described my boy as "impulsive" but he's exactly what the author describes as impulsive. Interestingly we had figured out about a year ago that if we gave our boy notice of things about to happen, getting him to do it when the time had arrived was less of a struggle.
However, the new ideas we've gained from the book has us working on new techniques that I think are starting to make baby steps in the right direction. I read through the "Step 1" chapter of the book and gave it to my wife and asked her to read it. While she's not been nearly as frustrate with our boy, and hadn't reached that same moment I did where I realized I had to seek help, she has begun to read the book. I'm hoping she'll adopt the same principals I have gained from the book because it is difficult on everyone when only one parent is using the techniques.
In our situation I could recognize an area where I needed to respond a certain way outlined by the author, but if my wife didn't and just yelled at our boy, I would then step in and ask focus him on me, use the technique, and get the response wanted. This would anger my wife and confuse my son. He didn't understand why mommy was blowing up at him. She couldn't figure out why after asking him 5 times he couldn't simply do what she was asking. And worse yet, was she was also mad at me because I stepped in and got him to do what she was asking which she felt undermined her and also angered her because he didn't listen to her and instead listened to me as if he didn't respect her.
This was not the case, I was simply seeing us repeating what the author identifies as the wrong way to get compliance and addressed it with the techniques the author provides. My suggestion because of my example above is for both parents to read it together or at least agree to each read through Step 1 in a weekend.
If your little boy or girl absolutely won't listen to you and you're at your wits end I believe this book will help. I know it has for me and I've only just started reading and using the techniques. And if you are that parent frustrated like I was considering buying this book, stop hesitating and buy it, you'll be glad you did!
Good luck! One person found this helpful. There were no a ha moments in this book for me.
The recommendations for my four year old were common sense and I could have written this myself consistent discipline, consistent follow through. Another terrific New Harbinger Book! This is the best! Short, sweet and to the point. Very practical stuff that works. Very readable.
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If you have problems controlling your child, this book will help you get your child back. Another Parenting Book? Sarah K. Reviews the book, Parenting your out-of-control child: An effective, easy-to-use program for teaching self-control by George M. Kapalka see record This book purports to help parents comprehend why children misbehave, how to control their own emotional responses to their children's behavior, and how to provide effective incentives for children to follow parental expectations while developing self-control.
The cover indicates that the strategies are for children years old, but there are instructions for modifying the procedures for children years old and for adolescents. It is based on clinical experience and research, much of which was conducted by Kapalka. It also is largely based on the work of Russell Barkley, although it claims to be more "intensive" and, therefore, better suited to "out-of-control" children.
Overall, Parenting Your Out-of-Control Child provides a helpful explanation of family dynamics and behavior modification for parents and concrete suggestions for how to implement this information. It is not, however, significantly different from the many other books that do the same cf. Nonetheless, this book is easier to read than some books, while still very much based in sound practice.