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No purchase necessary. Get started. Kindle Cloud Reader Read instantly in your browser. Not Enabled. Share your thoughts with other customers. Write a customer review. Showing of 1 reviews. Top Reviews Most recent Top Reviews. There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later. Great quotes from the stupidest people on the earth breathing. You can't find anything more absurd than statements from our moron leaders.

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Great book. One person found this helpful. See the review. Amazon Giveaway allows you to run promotional giveaways in order to create buzz, reward your audience, and attract new followers and customers. Learn more about Amazon Giveaway. This item: Statements From The Stooges. Set up a giveaway. My state is a border state. My state is the eighth largest black population in the country.

A Dubious Compliment - Top 10 Joe Biden Gaffes - TIME

My state is anything from a northeast liberal state," Biden said. He repeated the comment during a visit to South Carolina in December at an event before the Columbia Rotary Club, according to a story published in The State newspaper. The State reported that Biden referred to Delaware as a "slave state that fought beside the North. That's only because we couldn't figure out how to get to the South. There were a couple of states in the way.

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CNN U. But during the call, reporters kept returning to the issue of his remarks. Barack Obama. Do you accept Sen. He has his reasons, I have mine. Mine are the total dismantling of American capitalism, and ushering in the horrible, horrible European-style Socialism where nobody ever goes bankrupt because they can't pay their medical bills -- what sort of Hell on Earth is that? I only appoint people to my administration who have never ever paid any income taxes whatsoever. Leona Helmsley is our model, when vetting important positions here. I secretly hate bipartisanship. This may shock you, but I really do.

I personally forced every House Republican to vote against my stimulus package, and had to fight hard with some of them -- who put America's economic future above partisanship -- but in the end, I had my way, and convinced them all to vote against it.

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My presidency is an abject failure because I keep passing bill after bill with no Republican support whatsoever. Except on the bills half the Republicans vote for, but I don't worry about them -- because the media never points them out. Such massive, massive bipartisanship actually embarrasses me, so I'm quite happy that the media doesn't point them out. Because bipartisanship is "Issue Number One" for all Americans, rating consistently higher on poll after poll than "getting something done.

Ask around in any coffee shop in the country, you'll hear that outcry for bipartisanship over the laughably inadequate "getting something done" nonsense I and my fellow Democrats are peddling. As president, my paltry poll numbers prove that Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid are truly the puppeteers who are pulling my strings. I can barely hold on to two-thirds of the entire country who think I'm doing a good job, which is just absolutely disgraceful, especially when stacked up against my predecessors' ratings.

A mere two-thirds of the country agrees with what I'm doing! I look at poll after poll after poll, and that number refuses to change. It stays rock-steady at a pathetic sixty-percent-plus, much to my dismay. I hang my head in shame.

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I am also ashamed at getting my stimulus bill passed so quickly. Republicans, those masters of bipartisanship, offered their sincere efforts to delay this bill for months and months, and -- I admit -- I ignored them. As a consequence, this bill was passed so fast that the media did not have time to fully rant and rave over it, as they are so used to doing. I offer my apology to them, for ruining their twelve-part series: "Why Obama is diminished and powerless as a president. Also, contrary to my public statements on my plan to institute some sort of safety net for the foreclosure crisis, I secretly want every American to lose their home.

I am working night and day on this, secretly, with ACORN, who is also doing their best to destroy free elections across the country in their spare time. My health care plans, developed secretly, will bar one and all from ever seeing their family doctor ever again. We will round up anyone who has ever referred to themselves as "family doctors" in a camp in Wyoming, and it's best you don't ask what is going to happen to them. Because they our are biggest bar towards instituting not only socialized medicine, but government-run medicine, where you will have to fill out a twelve-page form every time any member of your family opens an aspirin bottle in your medicine cabinet.


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I have been spending and of course, just ask the mainstream media actually losing political capital with every step I have taken. My political capital has gone from having two-thirds of the country behind me This reckless "spending" of my political capital will leave me "bankrupt" of political capital in a few weeks, because I put all my political capital in a fund run by Bernie Madoff. So for all but the two-thirds of America who is behind me, no matter what inane story the media obsesses over , I am absolutely bereft of such political capital, and I had better follow the media's lead on what to obsess over from now on.

Speaking of losing political capital, the Democratic Party is in danger of disappearing altogether. There is absolutely no party unity, and there are massive, massive fights within the party, as evidenced by vote after vote in Congress where they all vote for my plans. The Republican Party is not -- I repeat not -- in a struggle of trainwreck proportions right now; it is actually the Democratic Party who cannot seem to agree on anything other than when they all vote together in Congress for my agenda, of course.

I am secretly an ultra-liberal, I have to admit at this point. I am absolutely committed to abject failure in Iraq and Afghanistan, as evidenced by all those neo-cons who are now agreeing with me. I also secretly sabotaged Bobby Jindal's speech, by forcing him to talk about volcano monitoring. I am secretly a big fan of earmarks. Especially earmarks sponsored by Republicans who then vote against them. Secretly oh, so secretly on the campaign trail, I actually agreed with John McCain although I did it secretly enough that nobody ever actually quoted me doing so that I would veto any earmark ever presented to me.

The American people are turning on me in big numbers, because of the blatant hypocrisy I showed in not living up to my opponent's promises on the campaign trail on earmarks. And I lost such a massive amount of political capital by doing so that my approval rates actually tanked, from two-thirds approval -- to a shameful and pathetic two-thirds approval.

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I am also secretly plotting, daily, to pass the agenda that I hid from the American people by telling them exactly what I would do if elected, every chance I got on the campaign trail. This is part of my Grand Secret Plan for America, which I kept a secret by talking about it with every opportunity I had. I know this is mystifying to the mainstream media, since they never take any politician's words seriously, but this is of course all part of my Grand Design. Part of this, of course, is forcing Republican governors over their strident objections to accept stimulus money so their states don't go bankrupt.

I did this by waterboarding them, until they agreed to save their own rear ends by accepting this free money. The next stage in my plot to usher in Socialism in America is Obamacare, where I allow government plans to compete with private health insurance. This will, of course, force all Americans to wait 18 months to get a doctor's appointment for a flu shot.

All part of my plan. My secret gay agenda is to force everyone of same sex in the military to have sex with each other, to destroy America's armed forces. The media is correct, of course how could they ever be wrong in any way? I am simply trying to do too much. I am so incompetent that I cannot walk and chew gum at the same time. I want it all, and I want it now.